Operatic

True Divas

 

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10 ways you know you are being TOO operatic in your everyday life (in which you know you are a true #DIVA)…

1.) Blocking.

You use your hands to describe every detail of your story and blame it on your Italian roots, even though you only speak it poetically and your ancestors were Eastern European.

2.) Stage Laugh.

You are seriously laughing louder and more high pitched than anyone else in your vicinity only because you know it may get you noticed, by an agent.

3.) Philanthropy.

Your family, friends, and co-workers constantly ask you to sing for them for free and on the spot. You do it not only because they don’t need to ask, but because you really understand that more followers means more fans, means more people at your concerts, and in general more support on Facebook, so everybody wins. Keep it to a short 5 second phrase, then smile.

4.) The Glare.

You use double fingers to point and use major eye contact regularly to hail a cab or show the delivery boy you mean business while indicating the location of the water cooler, across the room.

5.) Score.

The first thing that you do when you get an offer to sing a role is to track down a lightly used,  already broken in paperback of said opera and the second is to promptly sing a G6, even while walking solo in the subway.

6.) Play the game.

You understand that when someone asks you what a “coaching” is, and why you have to pay for it, you must make it relevant and you politely respond, “it’s like the casting couch for Hollywood, but without the couch.”

7.) Home Stretch.

While humming your audition arias to yourself rather loudly, someone of course loves it and blurts out, “why don’t you try out for so-and-so reality show?”  You pause and say: “I am not trying to be famous. I am, an Opera Singer.”

8.) Standards.

Your eye always goes to the most expensive dish on the menu, or to the most fabulous article of clothing in the store.  Divas have a knack for recognizing quality.  It is a blessing, and a curse.

9.) Parallels.

You notice that your life has the same scenes as various operas.  For example, you debate if you are better off having a carefree and fun single life or if it is also worth it to fall in love.  You excitedly sing an expressive coloratura passage and run outside to meet Alfredo…or…whatever his name is, but then lament for over a half hour how much you really loved him over brunch with the girls.

10.) The Drama.

You know that you didn’t choose Opera, it chose you. Every. Single. Day.


 

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Sit back and enjoy the show.

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